Am I really what I eat???

God, I hope not! If that's the case then I am a blob of salt water taffy and half and half tea. Half sweet and half unsweetened, as if that really matters after the taffy. The thing is that last week if you had asked me what I ate, I would have told you leafy green salads, grilled chicken, healthy sandwiches, strawberries and tons of water. However, sometime around Saturday morning I began slipping into old habits of junk, junk, and more junk! Don't even ask how it happened, it's all a blur to me and I was there! I was doing good, I think, until my husband, Danny had to go to the pool store. I didn't want to go in with him so I went into a cute shop that I had never seen before. That's when the backslide began. I was like a kid in a candy store. Who am I kidding, I was in a candy store. Not just any candy store, but a popcorn and candy store. What's my weakness? You guessed it. Popcorn. I can't smell it and walk away. Now, I kept my breathing in check and tried to hide the sweat on my face as I walked past barrels and barrels of colorful taffy. Taffy that just wanted to get all mixed up in a bag just for me. But, I was in control. I could look and walk out. After all, popcorn and candy would still be there tomorrow if I really wanted some, but then "It" happened. I am referring to the moment that all hell broke loose and I went from window shopper to card carrying customer of the day! As I turned to walk out of the store I heard, "Do you teach Pre-K?" It was an invitation to buy in disguise. A little girl who attends my school, was helping out at her family's business for the day. Well, who can walk out on a little girl working her first job? Not me-- that's apparent. Here comes the blur part. Somehow I managed to buy a large Dill Pickle Popcorn (I don't even like dill pickles,) a small Peanut Butter and Chocolate Popcorn, a pound of taffy, and two chocolate dipped marshmallows covered in toffee and sprinkles. I said I don't like dill pickles, but the popcorn was addicting! Seriously! How much is left this Tuesday morning? Who am I kidding? What was left on Monday morning? Not a dad-gum bit. I don't think that Bob Greene's book addresses this. Oh well, letter to self... If a little girl in a candy store asks, "Do you teach Pre-K?" Lie. Lie and answer, "Parlez-vous français" and walk away. Just walk away.

Play Ball!

I spent Sunday afternoon watching little league, All-Star T-ball games in the heat. I chose to spend the day at the ballpark because my great-nephew Caleb was playing. My husband was at work so that left me and Josh home alone so we ventured out to have a little B-ball fun in the sun. They had the photographers that do the pro teams action photos there to take pics of the little guys which was really cool. They got several shots of Caleb in action, shots that show a ball player's passion and heart for the game. What I noticed though as we flipped through the photos of all the team's shots sent a knife through my heart. There sitting in the stands in every shot was this really large, bloated lady who looked to be miserably existing while beautiful, healthy people surrounded her cheering the team on. That person was me. My heart sank as I realized what I had become. I can look back on so many times in my life when I didn't look the way I wanted. But this time it isn't just that I don't look the way I want. My life is slowly disappearing. Disappearing into a depressing and unhappy place. That is why I am hell bent on changing it. No more lose forty pounds in forty days. No more Medifast. No more, only eat this or only eat that. I know in my heart that God never intended for us to sit around all day in front of TV or computers. He never intended for us to eat processed and fast foods everyday. He created an abundance of healthy options for us all. Only some of US are too dumb to do it. I am using Bob Greene's plan which stresses, plain old good, healthy and fresh foods and daily exercise. I am using the Slender You machines every other day and walking on the treadmill everyday for 30 minutes. I am having to break up that 30 into 3 ten minute sessions right now, but that will change. You might say I am in the first inning of my own sort of ballgame right now. One that I am guaranteed to win if I just keep playing! Play ball!!!!!!

The Road Less Traveled...

Well, today I had an appointment with my rheumatologist and let's just say that the conversation started with "What are we going to do with your weight?" and ended with the knowledge that I have to go back and see her in six weeks. She pulled up my patient information and preceded to tell me that last July, I weighed 30 pounds less and that the July before that, I weighed 10 pounds less than that. What do you say to that? I was just numb to it. I think I have gotten to a point that I feel totally helpless to the situation. It's not that I don't care. I care very much, but I just have been down this road so many times in my life that it is overwhelming to take that first step again. I will take it. I just have to figure out how to make it the last time. I need a road that I can travel until I take that last breath. One that is gentle and winding, but not to curvy. One that has a few lows and a few highs, but mostly nice and even. One that has beautiful scenery and lots of other travelers. I will have better news for my doctor in six weeks, but it won't be a drastic weight loss just to make her happy. It will be a natural, normal weight loss resulting from the path of nutrition and exercise.

Slender You, Slender Me!!!

Well it's finally here. We are opening our Slender You Fitness Salon this Thursday. Now, I know that I am not the vision of fitness or slenderness if that is even a word, but I am persistent and that is why my name is attached to this endeavor. Last year, I saw this billboard driving home one night and it caught my eye, "40 pounds in 40 days," it read. I called the number the very next day and had an appointment for later that week. Upon consultation, I was sold. All I had to do was take one teeny tiny shot every morning and eat like a bird and I would lose at least a pound a day. Sounded good to me until they told me the cost. But they had a fix for that too. I could charge it to a medical credit card. I can't tell you how much I paid for it because if my husband ever gets bored and reads this thing, I will never hear the end of it. Seriously. Never. Let's just say that if I had spent the money on a cruise, I could have eaten at every midnight buffet and only gained 10 pounds. As it stands I gained my 40 pounds back plus 20 more before I had the stupid diet paid off. So I did some real soul searching and decided that maybe the reason I can lose weight but don't seem to keep it off could be that I don't get any real exercise. (Remember all those surgeries I wrote about earlier?) Well, I found this place in Arlington called Slender You and fell in love with the concept. There are six machines that support your body weight and move you through a high number of repetitions in a short time, 1 hour total! I thought, "I can do this." But the drive was too much with all that traffic. So I did the next best thing! I am opening my own Slender You Salon. I can't wait to share it with you! I still have to eat right and walk to get some cardio in, but I think it's going to change my life. Funny thing is, my husband Danny, didn't think it was possible for me to spend more money than I did with the "40 in 40" diet to lose weight...Bet he didn't count on this!

Decisions, decisions...

Well, I have just about every weight loss book ever written and if I don't currently own it, that's because it got sold in my last garage sale for a quarter. Don't tell my husband, he'll crap himself just thinking about the wasted money. See, I have a problem with losing weight. I can lose it just fine, but I always gain it back at warp speed. I'm done with that! I have to change the way I eat or I am never going to tame the beast! So, I have given it much thought and have decided on a plan that I think I can live with. A plan that is as close to real life as it gets. I have decided to adopt the Bob Greene approach to eating well. His latest book stresses healthy eating, exercise, skin care, and sleep. These are all things that I need to be focusing on because if you haven't noticed by now, I'm no spring chicken. Next decision...When to start??????????????????

Here I go again...

Long story short... I am forty-four years old and in the worst shape of my life. Long story long... I have always fought my weight even as a teenager, but when I was 29 years old, I was diagnosed with a condition called Avascular Necrosis. Basically, that meant that the blood had stopped getting to my hip joints resulting in bone on bone, also known as severe arthritis to the point that I was going to be wheelchair bound unless I had both hips replaced. Feeling as if I had no options, I had my first set of hip surgeries at age 30. I say first, because there were complications along the way and in all I have had a total of 7 hip surgeries not including the time or two, I have had to be put to sleep in order to have a dislocated hip popped back into place. As one might imagine, life changed for me in many ways. Suddenly many of the things that I had enjoyed, were out of the question for me due to my "hip precautions." I found myself becoming more and more sedentary and that along with some unhealthy eating habits, contributed to my becoming at least a hundred pounds overweight. I didn't like exercise before all my surgeries, but I detested even more after. Even walking has been miserable for me. Until now, I have thought that I would remain this way for the rest of my life, but thanks to Slender You, I have a renewed hope that I can turn this mess around. I hope you will follow my journey and experience the rewards right along with me.
Holli